Don’t look now, but the year is about to end, and we will be in New Year’s Resolution time again before you know it. That means it will be time to pull out your Bucket List, Goal List, etc., to review and revamp…again. Have you ever felt like your Bucket List is on pause? Wait, what? You don’t have a Bucket List? Do not worry; you can create one at any age.
Your Bucket List
I was in my 50s before I seriously set aside some time to even think about a Bucket List. I initially approached it as a “before I die” list. I want to do this, or go there, or buy that. I even purchased a Bucket List book with room for 100 items on your list and then pages to note and include pictures about each item you check off. I have up to 20 thoughts on my list and have reviewed them annually to re-align my priorities’ evolution.
A Forced Pause
I think it was the year that my father went to Heaven that I started my list. That event, when sadness hits so close to home, can become a huge nudge to move forward more intentionally on a lot of things. I labeled it as a “forced pause” in my life. I find that true after the loss of any loved one. However, loss is so very different depending on if you lost a spouse, parent, child, or other family member or friend. The loss of a spouse can be the most life-changing as it most often impacts your daily life the most. That’s especially when it seems the world around you has come to a standstill. But it really hasn’t, yet it feels like it should! You are living in a tragedy, but the world keeps humming along like nothing has happened. How can that be?
Your NOT Bucket List
During our forced pause, we have a chance to rethink our time and values, including “How am I spending my days?” vs. “How do I want to be spending my days?” Sometimes, backing into that pause with reverse thinking can get you more focused. What do I no longer want to do i.e., what’s on my NOT Bucket List?
Three Examples
- When my father passed, the reminder of how short life was helped me decide that I would never miss another important family event. I missed a family wedding years ago and regret it to this day. We are the out-of-towners on both sides of the family, so family gatherings (weddings, milestone anniversaries, etc.) are always a plane ride away. NOT miss important family gatherings is now on my NOT Bucket List.
- And the more I work with women and aging parents, the more I see “the stuff” as another item to be added to my NOT Bucket List. My “one in, one out” rule (when buying anything from household to jewelry to clothing items) is helping keep our homes/closets decluttered. Giving while living, purging, decluttering- call it what you like- has become an annual effort in our home. Before we travel to escape the Phoenix heat each summer, we donate, give, trash, or take to a consignment shop whatever no longer serves a purpose as we go through each room in the house. NOT leaving a mess for our kids is now on my NOT Bucket List. No matter how many years in the future that will be, we will always be ready.
- The last realization from the “forced pause” of losing my dad was a decision to downsize whenever we move next eventually. Growing up, we always enjoyed holiday time with family when everyone’s house was drivable. We alternated holidays, seeing one grandmother on one holiday and the other on the next holiday, as they lived in different cities. Now, for our family, it makes more sense for two to travel than for multiple families to travel to us as we are all spread across the country in various states, like many families. So no big house to accommodate all will ever be needed. NOT buy a larger home is now on our NOT Bucket List.
Who Am I?
No matter which way you start, creating a Bucket List or a NOT Bucket List, you need first to identify, especially in a “forced pause” situation, what you value in your next chapter. Who am I? And how do I want to live that out? In January, I will create my annual Vision Board, another version of a Bucket List that is usually designed to be a one-year outlook. I invite you to look at a tool I developed called Redesigning Me Vision Board for inspiration as you end one year and begin another. Thoughts are most likely to become actions if we write them down. And if you can involve more senses in that process (turn on some music, light a candle, sip something yummy, all while you create a vision board or bucket list), it will be all the better for realizing your vision!
Are you a Vision Board or Bucket List fan? Have you created one in the past or are you ready now going forward? Can you see the value of envisioning through one of these creative mediums? Let’s have a discussion!
Marie Burns is a Certified Financial Planner, Speaker, and Author of the bestselling Financial Checklist books. Find Marie on Facebook or contact her at [email protected].
This article was first published at 60 and Me – a community that helps women over 60 live happy, healthy and financially secure lives.